Angels Among Us

As it got closer to the time for me to attend the Alzheimer's walk on 10-10-10, I was forced to face some feelings I have tucked away. My Mom, who is the most beautiful and giving woman I know, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004.I have been by her side and supportive for most of this time. However, for the past year and a half, I have not. In April 2009, a few weeks before I married Joe, we received a phone call from the care center she was in, that her kidneys were shutting down...she was sick. I left right away and sat up with her all night, I watched the staff check her...once or twice. The next morning, my dad and two of my sisters arrived to see how she was. She was not herself at all... after lunch we left for awhile so she could rest. When we went back, the staff assured us she was going to be ok now and if anything changed, they would call. Dad and one sister went home, I stayed and talked with my other sister awhile. We went to say bye and check Mom one more time. She was very pale and hardly responsive. Her 89 year old roommate asked us, "have they checked your Mom's blood pressure"? Well, we asked. They had not. Tried to say they did during the night..but I was awake and there..so I know they didn't. The nurse checked her bp... 3 times and then said, "I think we have a problem". Mom's bp was 55/30!! We were about to lose her! She was rushed to the hospital and through excellent drs and many many prayers..she recovered. I will always be thankful to her roommate, she saved my mother's life. Since that time.... she has moved to a different nursing home...but I have not seen her. At the hospital, as one might guess, there was alot of stress and family drama, as I call it. My Dad, a sister and I had words....and we left on bad terms. I have not been to see Mom, because I do not want to see my Dad. So I have tucked Mom into my heart and in my head..she is ok. When my friend Bev sent me a message about the walk, it reminded me that Mom is really not ok. She needs me, and I sure need her. It breaks my heart to visit Mom because her memory of us all is gone, she has no idea who we are. She says she doesn't have children, that she is 27 yrs old, and she is always waiting for someone to take her "home". I have a hard time accepting a disease that takes away the person I love most of all....Mom. But attending the walk helped me understand how many other people are also affected by Alzheimer's, that we all need to support one another. That we need the government to support funding to help find medicine and hopefully one day, a cure. I feel like a part of my heart has returned to me and that I have a new passion in my life.... supporting Alzheimer's. I may not be able to turn back time, to bring my Mom, as she was, back to me and my family...but I can learn, teach and support. My Mom is a huge fan of the group Alabama, one of their songs has always reminded me of her...Angels Among Us. All my life, she has been my angel....and now..God has sent another angel to me, named Bev. Bev, you have no idea how you have just changed my life, how your voice has encouraged me and now drives me. I am thankful to have you in my life... and Mom.... I am on my way back into yours... I need you.... I miss you.... I love you!! I will do this for you!! The picture of Mom and I was taken at her last birthday before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.